Trouble Last Thursday

We have been away on a holiday last week... to a beautiful city famous for its crystal, Prague. We had a wonderful time even in the freezing temperature of -12 degrees. Such cold temperature, we couldn't even feel our feet...

But we felt even more cold when we got home on Thursday when we stepped into the house and realised that our house was broken into...




All the cabinets and drawers in the house were in a mess, stuff scattered... A few precious things were taken including two laptops and my precious external hard disk.

Things happen for a reason... I believe. Sometimes we forget our responsibility, our duty... to Allah S.W.T, to our family and to others. In this materialistic world, we are sometimes too busy chasing the finer things in life, we forget or rather tend to delay the most basic things. Sometimes we take things for granted and are never thankful for what we have, instead we keep complaining and always denying what we have.

I "redha" with the loss of material things, but I feel truly sad with the loss of the external hard disk. The precious memories inside the disk is priceless and irreplaceable. DS suggested that we could revisit the places and recapture the memories... :D That is sweet of him to suggest that but I told him that he could never be small again....

I Dreamed....

A few nights ago, I dreamed of him. He was reclining on the hospital bed. I couldn't see much of his body, it was covered by a greenish blanket. But his face, it was.... glowing and looked rosy and healthy, there was no signs of any burnt. There were other people in the room, but I couldn't recall whom. And he was explaining.... how difficult it was to breathe at that time....

It was not the first time that I dreamed of him. This was the fourth time, I think. I couldn't at this very moment, recall much of the other two, but the first dream, it was more vivid. It was a few weeks after the tragedy. He was reaching out to his wife, my niece, in fact they were both reaching out for each other.... Somehow I became their "perantara" and I could see both of them, and she actually couldn't see him.... Does it make sense?? It was a sad dream, I could feel both of their pains. I never told my niece of the dream or the other dreams, I felt that she couldn't take it. I told my mum though.... for the sake of telling somebody so that I didn't feel alone, but not the details. I just said that I dreamed of him. I woke up feeling so sad and depressed, and there was a big lump in my chest. I recited Al-fatihah for him.

I don't know why I dreamed of him, to say that he was very very close to me.... I think it was more of, I feel closer to his wife(who is my niece) and the children. But he was forever polite to me. When I was younger, I used to dream of my mum's niece. She died a long time ago and I was not close to her at all but I dreamed of her a lot. Finally, when I told a friend, she advised me to recite surah Yassin for her. After that, I never dreamed of her again.

When he passed away last September, I wished I could see his burnt face and perhaps body too. I just... wanted to see.... When a friend told me of his officemate's blog, I tried to search for it. I found one picture, he was being carried on a bed, his face was slighly turned to the other side and I couldn't see clearly of any injuries to the face. But when I first saw that picture, there was a sharp pain in my chest and the blood seemed to rush to my face and I cried all over again.... as I did when he died.... as I do now....

Perhaps I have been forgetting him, in the last weeks I have not been reciting any surahs, not even a short and simple one, for him. I just assume, his wife, his parents and his parents-in-law (my sister) do that for him. I pray that he was placed by Allah S.W.T. among the blessed. He was a good husband to my niece, a good son to his parents and always respectful of the elders.